Is Fear Holding You Back From Living Your Dream Life?
Fear is something we all face at some point in our lives. Some of us deal with it daily, others only at different major life stages. For many people, myself included, fear stops us from living life to our fullest potential. It stops us from asking for that pay rise, starting a new hobby or making new connections. Fear is an emotion, that is essential for us to experience – in the right situation.
Fear stops us from putting ourselves into situations where we might be at risk of harm. Whether it be swimming in dangerous surf, walking on our own during the night or travelling on the highway. Fear is an important emotion we experience to keep us safe.
However, fear doesn’t only stop us from getting into unsafe or risky situations. It also stops us from experiencing life fully. It stops us from chasing our dreams, putting ourselves out there, applying for a particular job or asking for a well-deserved pay rise. Fear ultimately makes us feel as though we aren’t ‘enough’, we don’t deserve it, or we can’t do it. So, we sit back, and let life just pass us by.
Ask yourself this question – If you had all the self-belief in the world, what would I do?
Would you apply for that management role you have been eyeing off? Would you ask someone you have fancied for quite some time to have a coffee with you? Would you start to put yourself out there on social media? Would you start your side hustle you’ve been thinking about for the past three years, but haven’t felt you had what it took to get it off the ground?
What does your perfect life look like? What would you do during your day? How would you spend your time? Who would you surround yourself with?
Fear held me back for a long, long time. Fear of failure. Fear of being seen. Fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone, owning what it was I wanted in life, and making my dream become my reality. I had a good job, I bought a house, what more could I want?
I wanted SO much more. Do you feel like you want more too?
How is fear creeping into your life? What is it stopping you from achieving? Is it real, or is it just a story you’re telling yourself? How can you re-frame your thoughts and move through the fear? How can you remove it?
Unfortunately, we can’t remove the fear. But what we can do, is feel it, acknowledge it, and take action towards it. Have you been wanting to ask for a pay rise for as long as you can remember? Now is the time to take action. Start working on yourself, focus on your value, the work your doing now. Show up everyday passionate and inspired to be the best you possibly can in your job. Absolutely own your worth. Work on your confidence, then, reach out to your management to have a discussion around your role and your remuneration. Easy as that. Prepare ahead, practice what you will say in the mirror. Own it.
Feel the fear! Move through the fear! Take action, and take control of your life.
Here’s my 5 steps to move through your fear:
Accept it
It’s not going anywhere. Fear is something we all experience, and even when you work through one fear another is likely to pop into your mind. Accept that fear is apart of this human experience, and something that you can work with and not against.
- Identify it
Work out exactly what your fear is. How is it showing up in your life? Where are you feeling it in your body? What is it directly related to? Work out where it’s coming from, and then you can start to work out what you need to do to effectively move through it.
- Feel it
Surrender to the fear, and lean into it fully. It is totally OK to feel fearful about things. It normally means that whatever it is we are fearful around is incredibly important to us. Feel the fear with your whole body, and then prepare to move through it. With action, fear subsides.
- Face it
It’s time to feel the fear, and do it anyway. Look at the fear, and try to re-frame it. Is it a real fear, or an imagined fear? Then I want you to do one thing every day towards moving through your fear. Even if it’s a small baby step towards whatever it is you’re fearful of, it’s time to take action. Every small step you take adds up to big shifts, so do one thing today that scares you.
- Practice it
Be in daily action towards facing your fears. Our brains are hardwired for evidence, so every time you do something that feels stretchy, you are cultivating more and more evidence that you can do that scary thing. Your brain begins to shift it’s perspective, and your fear will begin to subside. Believe me when I tell you, this is not easy! But, it’s doable! And I believe in you 1000%! You’ve got this beautiful!
I’d love to hear what fear’s you’re currently working on moving through. For me personally, it has been owning my new career in Life Coaching and showing up authentically on my social media. I’ve not been one for the spotlight, I’m quite an introverted person. But I know I have a strong message to share, and I will be of service in sharing my voice.
Do you know someone who could benefit from this blog post? I’d love for you to share it with them. Let me know your top 3 takeaways below, or get in contact via hello@melissaparsons.com.au.
